Becoming the parent you needed: The silent work of healing childhood trauma

We are  now increasingly realising that many of the moving stories gaining strong traction on social media are  increasingly displaying symptoms of wounded individuals that are evidently informed by rooted unmet emotional needs or maladaptive patterns shaped during early development

At the same time, Generation Z, who grew up with the internet, social media and smartphones and whose parents are very busy in their careers, have joined the workplace market and the social media arena in full swing. 

In addition, some of the Generation Alpha who have never known a world without digital devices are slowly finding themselves on social media, despite some being underage, joining social media with pseudonames and incorrect age disclosure.

Globally, we are having countries like Sweden who had moved to full online classrooms, reintroducing pen-and-paper learning, reducing screen time, and prioritising analogue methods. This unexpected shift raises a critical question: Is this a nostalgic step backwards or a science-backed strategy to improve learning outcomes?

Adults who discover that they have difficulties as a result of inadequate or poor parenting need to embrace inner child reparenting because even if a parent were to apologise, they won't undo the wounds or the childhood traumas. This can be guided by a therapist after an initial psychiatric evaluation

Daily inner-child reparenting involves consistently nurturing and supporting oneself in ways that may have been missing during childhood. It includes developing emotional awareness, practising self-compassion, and creating routines that foster safety and stability.

These practices help one identify and validate their feelings, soothe emotional distress, and replace self-criticism with kindness. Engaging in joyful or playful activities reconnects one with a sense of innocence and creativity, while reflective habits like journaling and gratitude reinforce self-worth. Over time, these  actions build a secure internal environment where your inner child feels seen, heard, and protected.

To parents, remember that uncontrolled screen time and online exposure bring risks: to a child's attention span issues, reduced face-to-face interaction, online safety concerns and many other concerns. Digital habits shape worldview, identity, and socialisation for both Gen Z parents (raising) and their children (Gen Alpha). Af big challenge to parents to model their own digital habits, set loving boundaries, talk openly about the digital world, nurture emotional and social skills, stay connected to faith and values and adapt as technology changes           

Dear parent, you’re not fighting technology; you are guiding a child in a world where technology is woven in. You are the safe harbour. Your love, attention, faith and presence matter more than any device. Keep the rhythms of connection, model the life you hope your child will live, and trust that every conversation, every shared meal, every moment of mutual laughter builds character far deeper than any screen. You have got this, and I believe in you.

The writer is a consultant psychiatrist with over 2 decades of experience as a consultant psychiatrist