Riggy G skins Prezzo Ruto at foot of Mt Kenya, then lays his scalp out to dry

Nyandarua means the place where skins are laid out to dry. This antiquated land is intricately woven into our national mythology as the epicentre of our liberation struggle, humiliating the Brits, the most powerful nation of the 20th century, into retreat.

Nearly a century on, those most ridiculed and reviled in local lore are a clutch of individuals who collaborated with the occupying force. It is this that former Deputy Prezzo Rigathi Gachagua revived, pointedly directed at the person of Majority Leader Kimani Ichung’wa, the man who orchestrated his hounding out of office 1.5 years ago.

It’s a hurt that Riggy G has not transcended, and possibly never will, despite the passage of time. He rose to power, alongside Prezzo Bill Ruto, having fought tooth and nail to oust former Prezzo Uhuru Kenyatta, whom they lampooned as a dynast who was out of touch with the realities that confronted ordinary folks, then christened as “hustlers.”

That seems like such a long time; the “hustler-dynasty” charade has since unravelled, with Prezzo Ruto emerging as a dynast in his own right, besides inviting dynasts into the fold.

But the midweek drama narrated a different narrative altogether: Speaking only minutes apart, wearing grey suits and ashen grey faces, Riggy G was out of tune, Prezzo Ruto was out of practice, as both sang different hymns at the funeral of the departed Ol-Kalou MP David Kiaraho. Prezzo Ruto appeared out of depth as he enumerated projects that he admitted he had yet to complete.

Now he had mobilised the funds, he said, perhaps because he had been waiting for a funeral to make the announcement, even as Riggy G demonstrated that the enormous energies he expended to propel Prezzo Ruto into office would be doubled to lock him out of power.

As a good student of history, Riggy G understands Nyandarua is “Murima” proper, the epicentre of Prezzo Bill Ruto’s electoral machinery in 2022, where a critical mass was galvanised around a pseudo ideology embodied in a wheelbarrow the symbol of the ruling coalition that has since been replaced by a fanciful flight to a fabled “Singapore,” the Asian economic powerhouse.

Riggy G also understands that Nyandarua’s history of struggle abhors treachery, which he directly accused Prezzo Ruto of, despite the community support for him. “Betrayal is not forgiven,” he said, before concluding: “Sasa hii jamii imekukataa.” It means the community had rejected him.

This is what they call Waterloo, memorialising a military campaign somewhere in Europe where the French ruler, Napoleon, suffered a humiliating defeat after a bruising campaign lasting 23 years.

Riggy G’s campaign has lasted 1.5 years; his operation in Nyandarua lasted 30 minutes, his arsenal consisting of an assortment of handwritten notes stashed in different corners of his multi-pocketed garment.

The precision with which he fished out the notes reflected astute pre-planning, evoking the image of politicians who keep notes of different denominations in separate pockets, so they know precisely where to reach, as needs arise.

All this while, Riggy G cast an eye far and wide, an instinct probably developed from his many brushes with lawbreakers who toss teargas in the air wherever he addresses a crowd.

Prezzo Ruto responded by saying he’d answer his detractors with action. Evidently, time isn’t on his side if one were to believe Riggy G’s arithmetic, which suggested we have 15 months to the next General Election, when he implied Prezzo Ruto’s rule will be over.

Prezzo Ruto chuckled and mumbled that he knows and plays his politics, as he wills. He wouldn’t seek direction or permission from anyone. After all, he’s President of the Republic of Kenya.

Well, he did seek help from Riggy G last time, and the latter used Nyandarua, in the heartland of “Murima”, to rule out the possibility of his re-election, coarsely reminding locals that voting for Prezzo Ruto again would be akin to the community eating its own vomit.