Ogamba's Tower of Babel on school sex pests

Homa Bay County Woman Rep Joyce Bensouda Osogo mostly thrives on instinct than intellectual rigour. But to her credit, no one commands the podium like she does.

In a recent viral video, the MP rallies young men to embrace marriage, steer clear of alcohol and stop ‘inheriting’ women. She raps at men over widespread incestuous unions. An angry Bensouda then turned her guns on fathers who abuse minors, assault their spouses and sire children ubiquitously. Her concern? Our moral compass has been overrun by complex realities. Then there’s the story of Sue Munene, who’s been making rounds online and in broadcast stations yapping about sex and marriage. Apparently, her loyal fans call her ‘Twa Twa’ Sue.

I recently ran into Ms Sue at my church, Pefa Donholm. She wasn’t the cartoony persona her videos would have you believe but a woman on a mission to heal marriages. In her words: “You might think I’m a comedian but I’m real that so many people see me as fake.”

With her husband Joseph Munene, the counsellor and sex therapist (rolled into one) led us through ‘Building a Christ-centred marriage’ seminar. One session focused on ‘digital secrecy’ in relationships, where she talked of ‘boosters’ and ‘killers’ of intimacy. If that doesn’t count as bold, then nothing does.

To our chagrin, she barefacedly waded into the homosexuality debate, terming it a learned orientation rather than an innate condition. I thought, wait a minute! MP Bensouda and Ms Sue are engaging in a debate that families, faith groups, learning institutions and, generally our conservative society, have avoided for eons. On the whole, there’s one stark reality – that of the faith community’s underachieved role in marriage and what I call sex edification. We’ve done same things all the time expecting different results, leaving most of us at the mercy of peers, the internet, the mass media or even ‘trial and error’ to learn.

In our setup where parents and teachers are openly aloof, silence breeds ignorance then ignorance breeds harm. This is precisely where churches and mosques should quickly step in. Since sanctuaries are trusted places, they can provide teachings aligning with moral and spiritual values, while also addressing health, safety, consent, abuse prevention and healthy relationships.

We’ve seen how the education sector has suffered from our collective silence. The Alliance Girls grooming scandal and many others. Nairobi, Kakamega, Narok and Bungoma counties have recently topped the charts for teenage pregnancies. In one case, a school in Mt Elgon recorded 54 pregnancies.

Between mid-last year and March this year, over 1,300 defilement cases were reported. Now, fed up with sexual abuse in schools, Cabinet Secretary Migos Ogamba proposes a special unit within his ministry to coordinate efforts to curb teenage pregnancies and nail perpetrators.

Such a unit can’t succeed in isolation. Countless taskforce reports are gathering dust on the shelves. Without coordination, it’ll be just another Tower of Babel. What’s needed is a whole-of-society approach to end the ills. Otherwise it remains better said than done. Meanwhile within families, rising divorce and separation are exerting a heavy toll, leaving children with lasting psychological scars.

Methinks if we had a million women with Ms Sue’s guts to lead these tough conversations nationwide around unhealthy relationships, countless youths would find guidance, many marriages would mend, and young Kenyans would gain a healthier understanding of their sexuality. And if more political leaders hopped onto Ms Bensouda’s bandwagon, positive change would be possible. Certainly, conversations about these topics will take place somewhere if we run away from them. If learning institutions hesitate and families shy away, then the pulpit must not remain silent. Faith settings have the platform, the trust and the responsibility to shape how we approach family responsibility and love. In the era of digital explosion, the only way we can help CS Ogamba fix abuse in schools is to stop treating sex education as a taboo. Instead, we should push for its inclusion in formal conversations even if not included in the curriculum. Guidance and honesty are key. 

The writer is a communications practitioner. X:@markoloo